Jon! Jon! Jon!

Holy hot, steaming, doggie lawnlogs!
They (HBO/GRRM) burn Shireen last week. They blind Arya this week. Then, apparently because they haven't yet sighted an angry, torch-carrying mob heading for HBO headquarters, they kill Jon!
Fine finale, Red Wedding HBO people. Hate the Starks much?

Shades of Julius Caesar!
Jon walks, unsuspectingly (his long-lost uncle is still alive, really?), into a trap. He is stabbed by a string of individual, “For the Watch” underlings but not fatally, it seemed, until the final “Et, tu, Olly?” thrust.
Well, at least Jon's with Ygritte, now. I do hope that he comes back as a new member of the White Walker Army (maybe walking hand-in-hand with his Wildling love) to behead the First Ranger, thereby denying Thorne the Wight reanimation experience.
I was so relieved that Jon allowed Sam, Gilly and Sam Jr. to leave Castle Black. Study hard at the Citadel, Sam. You could be the Savior of the Living next season.

Cersei! Cersei! Cersei! It's Alive!
Well, I thought Cersei had simply decided to play the confession game to gain her freedom. Her march of atonement, with the highly intimidating, giant dungeon matron ushering her along (“Shame, Shame, Shame” Ding!) was kind of hilarious.
Nice job of  hostile crowd control by the Sparrow squad. I got the distinct feeling that the good citizens of King's Landing are not Cersei's biggest fans.
I didn't think that Cersei was actually atoning for her partially confessed sins, until the tears starting rolling. Was she crying because she was truly ashamed of her transgressions or because she was a haughty, naked queen being humiliated?
I suspect it was the latter.
Boy, oh, boy, are the High Sparrow and Faith Militant ever going to catch hell next season from Cersei's new, moutainesque, fully armored champion. Knock, knock. Hello? Ser Gregor, are you in there? No? Maybe something Qyburn has sewn together from the spare parts he collected in his laboratory? Had King's Landing experienced any lightning lately?

Arya! Arya! Arya!
I don't think Arya is permanently blind; just getting a friendly warning from the Many-Faced God to make her think twice about killing unassigned people. Why would any god fail to see the assassination promise of a trainee who kills with such gusto? I mean, both eyes, a gag, a lecture, and a slit throat? Advance to the head of the class, Arya.
How freaky was it when Arya peeled face after face from the “dead” Jaqen and finished face-to-face with her own face? Just a wee bit tooooo heavy to be foreshadowing, methinks.

Stannis! Stannis! Stannis!
OMG! The frontrunner in the Iron Throne Marathon, has apparently been separated from his own head by Brienne (who couldn't possibly miss her mark with Oathkeeper, right?). I expected the Lady Knight to take an arrow to the head while she dilly-dallied with her pre-chopping pronouncements. I guess protocol simply cannot be ignored.
Despite being seriously wounded, Stannis had showcased his kingly fighting skills by killing the pair of Bolton-side boys who happened upon him after the battle was over. Other than that, the man didn't have a whole lot going for him.
Stannis had sacrificed his sweet daughter for naught. His wife had hung herself. Half his army had deserted, taking with them their weapons and horses. His witchy woman, Melisandre, had bugged out as soon as the Lord of Light was unable to deliver more than a little melting snow to speed him to his doom.
Melisandre will find a very different Castle Black environment with Jon's death. I am confident that Thorne and his merry men will find a use for her.

Reek! Sansa! Theon?
I was floored by Reek's “Theon Moment” in saving Sansa from Myranda's arrows aimed at her non-essential body parts. Ramsay is certain to take issue with Theon's method of dealing with his girlfriend.
Why didn't Sansa get the hell out of Winterfell while the Boltons were slaughtering the last of the Baratheon troops? Did she actually think that her too little, too late candle was going to be her salvation?
Could be I missed it, but I don't know what the intended landing target was when Sansa and Theon jumped, hand-in-paw, from the Winterfell wall. I hope their landing was softer than Myranda's.

Dany! Drogon! Tyrion! (Jorah! Daario!)
Drogon got Dany to safety, but he clearly needs some time to recover from his Sons of the Harpy wounds. Meanwhile, the unlikely duo of Jorah and Daario set out to find and rescue Dany, leaving Tyrion to bring law and order to Meereen.
Left with only Grey Worm and Missandei (anyone else wonder why she and Dany have such remarkably similar eyebrows? Same hairdresser?) as his administrative staff, Tyrion probably would not have lasted very long. With the miraculous arrival of spymaster Varys, Tyrion's odds of success were greatly improved.
Rescue may be a moot point, however, as Dany wanders away from Drogon and finds herself surrounded by several gazillion whooping horse riders bearing a strong resemblance to her old subjects, the Dothraki.
Whatever happened to them, by the way? I don't remember seeing them after Dany took charge of the Unsullied. Mounted, perpetually bloodthirsty Dothraki patrolmen would have done a much better job of policing the streets of Meereen than the spear-wielding, marching in formation Unsullied.
Anyway, the horses and riders revolving in front of the camera made me a little queasy. If they are Dothraki, are they just celebrating reunification with their Khaleesi? If they are some other tribe, what are they planning?

Myrcella! Myrcella! Myrcella!
When Myrcella became the unlikely recipient of a Dorne departure kiss from the lips of Ellaria, I was immediately suspicious. After all, poison is the Sand family trademark, and Ellaria's lips were unnaturally rosy.
Fortunately for Jaime, his lips did not meet Myrcella's during their father-daughter talk. I would think that, at some point, Jaime would stop being surprised at who knows about his relationship with Cersei. Even the Dornish were in on the secret. Good thing the High Sparrow seems to need hard evidence instead of acting on mere hearsay.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s