Doctor Whose Line Is It, Anyway?


And now for something completely different.

The sparkle and shine of the new Doctor Who series is coming from the writing. In tribute to that, I’m presenting an all-dialog-line review of “Before the Flood,” which aired Oct. 10.

No attribution. No context. Just lines.

Here are the dots. You connect them. If you haven’t watched this episode, perhaps this will motivate you. Think of it as a puzzle.

Am I lazy, or what?

What’s the point of having a time machine, if you don’t get to meet your heroes?

This is called the bootstrap paradox. Google it.


It’s a hearse.

I used to be in military intelligence.
I was demoted for dangling a colleague out of a window.

The most invaded planet in the galaxy. Our capital city has a sign saying
“If you occupied us, you’d be home by now.”

It’s bigger on the inside! It’s bigger on the inside! It’s bigger on the inside!

My first proper alien, and he’s an idiot.

This regeneration is a bit of a clerical error, anyway.

I’m not trying to kill you? Why am I not trying to kill you?

Doctor, such an honor. I’ve always been a huge admirer.
This is really a delight. Finally, someone worth talking to.

Never gonna happen. Seriously, have you two met me?

One man. Lost in time.

Cass. Cass. Cass. Ugh. Idiot. I’m an idiot.

The ripple effect. Maybe it will mean that the Universe
will be ruled by cats or something in the future.

This is Security Protocol 712. The Echelon Circuit has been activated
Please stow any hand luggage and prepare for departure.

Don’t kiss me. Morning breath.

I’ve erased the memory of the writing.
Though you might find you’ve lost a couple of other memories too, you know,
like people you went to school with or previous addresses or how to drink liquids.

Thank you, Steven Moffat and Toby Whithouse.

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