Donald J. Trump: The Most Frequently Misunderstood President in History

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“Honest” Don Trump

Move over Abe, Donald J. Trump has taken your place as the most truthful American President in history.

Yes, the mainstream media has documented what appears to be thousands of lies told by Donald during his time in the Oval Office. What the horribly dishonest press has failed to take into consideration is that Donald’s self-centered, befuddled mind is rapidly slipping toward dementia.

Donald cannot help stating the opposite of what he really means. Anyone who wants to know the truth behind anything Donald is trying to say needs only turn the statement around.

That may prove difficult for some. To end this disgraceful and unfair situation, Donald needs an interpreter who immediately clarifies his every tweet and statement. Keeping things all in the White House family, I think that White House spinmaster, the highly credible Kellyanne Conway, is the perfect candidate to step into that role.

Backtracking through some of Donald’s more infamous claims, followed by his actual intended meanings, brings immediate clarity to Donald’s sparkling veracity.

Donald:  “We will always protect patients with pre-existing conditions, very importantly.”

Translation:  We will never, ever protect patients with pre-existing conditions, very important to the health insurance industry.

 

D:  Tariffs are “paid for mostly by China, by the way, not by us.”

T:  Tariffs are paid for mostly by us, by the way, not by China.

 

D“Puerto Rico got 91 Billion Dollars for the hurricane, more money than has ever been gotten for a hurricane before.”

T:  Puerto will receive a token amount of relief for the hurricane, less than has ever been gotten for a hurricane before. Disaster funding needs to be reserved for actual states with actual Americans who vote for me.

 

D:  “There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor.”

T: The real reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California clearly climate change.

 

D:  “The Democrats want to invite caravan after caravan of illegal aliens into our country. And they want to sign them up for free health care, free welfare, free education, and for the right to vote.”

T:  Republican indifference to drug-fueled violence in foreign countries has produced a massive increase in refugees seeking asylum in our country. Naturally, we will respond to the immediate humanitarian needs of these unfortunate victims of our own policies.

 

D:  “Every single Democrat in the U.S. Senate has signed up for the open borders, and it’s a bill, it’s called the ‘open borders bill.’”

T:  Democrats in the U.S. Senate have signed up for an immigrant families bill, and it’s a bill called the “Keep Families Together Act.”

 

D:  “There’s a lot of talk about Biden’s son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that. So whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it…It sounds horrible to me.”

T:  There’s a lot of talk about Biden’s son, that Biden stopped the prosecution, and a lot of people want to find out about that. I’m just calling to say, these rumors have been thoroughly debunked. No need to look into them. Don’t worry. Your aid is in the mail.

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