Doctor Who Stays Shiny

“The Girl Who Died” put another gem in the Doctor Who ninth series crown Sept 17.

The Doctor and his Viking shield bearers

With a different pairing of writers for this episode, Jamie Mathieson this time teaming with Steven Moffat, I was afraid that the dialog might suffer. It continued to sparkle.

In this review, as with the last time around, I’m keeping the focus on what was said, but adding a twist. A pop quiz! Betcha didn’t see that coming.

Identify the speaker for each of the following quotes. Warning, these quotes might be a bit spoilish for those who have not watched the episode. The answers might be even more so.

WARNING: Embargoed for publication until 00:00:01 on 13/10/2015 - Programme Name: Doctor Who - TX: 17/10/2015 - Episode: THE GIRL WHO DIED (By Jamie Mathieson and Steven Moffat) (No. 5) - Picture Shows: ***EMBARGOED UNTIL 13th OCT 2015*** Odin (DAVID SCHOFIELD), Mire - (C) BBC - Photographer: Simon Ridgway
Odin and his boys (C) BBC – Photographer: Simon Ridgway

Here we go. Where do you rate?

  1. It’s possibly a Love Sprite. It sucks your brain out through your mouth, hence the name.
  2. Not a word about my spot-on materialization skills.
  3. I’m not actually the police. That’s just what it says on the box.
  4. No, no, not Vikings. I’m not in the mood for Vikings.
  5. People talk about premonition as if it’s strange. It’s not. It’s just remembering in the wrong direction.
  6. So, it’s going to be the yo-yo again, isn’t it?
  7. It’s supposed to do that!
  8. That’s not really Odin, is it?
  9. He hasn’t even got a yo-yo.
  10. I’m not good with heights.
  11. What’s one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up.
  12. Time for your medication?
  13. Okay. You mash up Vikings to make warrior juice. Nice.
  14. The Universe is full of testosterone. Trust me. It’s unbearable.
  15. You almost had me talking. Talk is for cowards.
  16. I’m not a hugger.
  17. I looked them up in my 2,000-year diary. They’re called the Mire. They are one of the deadliest warrior races in the entire galaxy.
  18. Make puddings and babies. That’s basically what you do, right?
  19. Fly like a bird. Run like a nose. That’s probably a Viking saying, I think. Haven’t checked that yet
  20. What are you? Farmers, fishermen, web designers. Maybe not that last one.
  21. The Mire are coming for each and every one of you. So, what are you going to do, raise crops at them?
  22. He speaks Baby.
  23. So, when I say “move,” you move. When I say “jump, you say “how high? Unless there’s, of course, a gap of some kind, in which case, of course, means you jump horizontally.
  24. I’ve got too much to think about without everybody having their own names. So, it’s Lofty. You’re Lofty, you’re Daphne, ZZ Top, you’re Noggin the Nog and you’re, uh, Heidi.
  25. You’ll be given your real swords back when you can prove that you can wave them around without lopping bits off yourself.
  26. What happened?
  27. The Big Bang, dinosaurs, bipeds, a mounting sense of futility.
  28. More recently, Chuckles hit Lofty over the head on his helmet with a sword, which knocked him out.
  29. Well, Heidi faints at the mention of blood, not just the sight anymore. He’s actually upgraded his phobia.
  30. Chuckles, he questions every single order you give him, which is going to be a little bit difficult, a little tricky, in the heat of battle.
  31. So, we meet again, fake Odin. Valhalla burns around you. Your army is destroyed. And now, it time for you to die!
  32. Oh, I love puppets!
  33. We’ll be cut down like corn.
  34. Why has Lofty stolen a baby?
  35. Okay. You’re shouting. What’s happened? Have you trapped your finger in something again?
  36. Winning is all about looking happier than the other guy.
  37. Act as if you know their plan, and sometimes, if you’re very lucky, they’ll actually tell you it.
  38. Not to mention the whole wetting your pants and running away from a puppet debacle.
  39. See. All it needed was the Benny Hill theme.
  40. Silence is even worse in a Scottish accent.
  41. Immortality isn’t living forever. That’s not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying.


The Doctor: 1,2,3,4,5,7,9,11,16,17,18,19,20,21,23,24,25,27,29,30,32,34,36.37.38,41

Clara: 6,8,12,13,14,22,28

Ashildr: 31,33,39,40

Heidi: 10,26,35

Mire Odin: 15


0-10 Barely able to pay attention, possibly borderline non-sentient. Are you a Dalek?

11-20 Semi-conscious. Judoon? Sontaran?

21-30 Occasionally able to focus. Terran?

31-41 Very sharp. Galifreyan? Hey. Where the hell is your planet hiding?

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